Does God Give a Rat's Ass?

As much as I hate to risk being categorized as a Secular Pr0gre$$ive by old BillO, the annual stupid articles about St. Patrick's Day have started coming out again.

If it's not whether out-of-the-closet gay people (who are not priests) are still God's children, then it might be whether Jehovah will rain down on the faithful with sulfurous fire for nibbling on a corned beef sandwich when this holy day falls on a Lenten Friday.

I mean, honestly.

I sometimes look down my nose at people who tune into Monday sports talk radio to reshash the decisions some football coach made on Sunday, but I have a feeling that the religious people might just have beat them to the bottom of the beer barrel for having the stupidest shit to argue about.

Now the debate is whether God thinks it's OK to have a St. Patrick's Day parade when it happens to fall during Holy Week.

Perhaps it's a bit of a stretch, but the amount of wasted thought put into this debate reminds me of the classic scene from one of my favorite movies, Monty Python's Life of Brian.

BRIAN: Are you the Judean People's Front?
REG: F**k off!
BRIAN: What?
REG: Judean People's Front. We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front. Cawk.
FRANCIS: Wankers.
BRIAN: Can I... join your group?
REG: No. Piss off.
BRIAN: I didn't want to sell this stuff. It's only a job. I hate the Romans as much as anybody. …
REG: Right. You're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the f**king Judean People's Front.
P.F.J.: Yeah...
JUDITH: Splitters.
P.F.J.: Splitters...
FRANCIS: And the Judean Popular People's Front.
P.F.J.: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters...
LORETTA: And the People's Front of Judea.
P.F.J.: Yeah. Splitters. Splitters...
REG: What?
LORETTA: The People's Front of Judea. Splitters.
REG: We're the People's Front of Judea!
LORETTA: Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.
REG: People's Front! C-huh.
FRANCIS: Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?
REG: He's over there.
P.F.J.: Splitter!