Do You Have a Kiss for Daddy?

Stupidest news item of the day.

A Sad Ending for Happy Endings

Is nothing sacred in in the Chicago suburb, Elk Grove, Illinois?

Oh, the humanity!

'Twas the Night Before The Night Before Christmas

Having gotten temporarily grounded overnight in Chicago on Sunday, I settled in to my comfortable hotel bed to watch the local 10PM news (a luxury those who do not live in the central time zone, and are cursed with the 11PM standard do not enjoy).

It was a newscast like any other newscast until...a minivan crashed through the ABC7 studio window!

Below's a little montage of their coverage from the night it happened and then the Christmas Eve morning news show, as well.

Rather amusing...

Hell Hath No Fury

Not a whole lot of geopolitical significance to this story, but it caught my eye as kind of amusing.

Man and woman date circa 1999 and, for whatever reason, things don't work out.

Fast forward to 2007.

Man has moved on and gotten married.

Woman still feels jilted and decides to get creative, creating some kinky ads purporting to be man's new wife.

Single woman should have messed with someone less-computer-savvy.

Crazy chicks are great.

Idiotdore

I can't believe I'm even bothering to post this crapola, but it struck me as amusing.

Some piece of Samsonite across the pond got a full-back tattoo of this Dubmbledore from the Harry Potter series. He thought, of course, that this would show what a bad ass he was.

Now, he's finding that the ass is still involved, but playing a different role.

He's upset that the revelation of the characther's sexual orientation has turned his tattoo into a permanent dunce cap.

I don't know what the sexuality announcement really added to the story.

Hey, It's In The Economist!

I heard this on the radio on the way home and had to look up the article...

There's a study that some psychologist out at the University of New Mexico did. In the pursuit of science, he found out that female dancers' earnings tend to vary along with their menstrual cycle.

The guy is an evolutionary psychologist, specifically.

Hmmm...now why did I walk away from academics?

You Can Find Anything on the Internet

I was sitting here actually doing some work on the other machine and heard a bizarre ad on Sirius for 'How to change your kid's attitude in 1 minutes or less' and was intrigued.

Did a little searching around and found a bizarre exchange on an eBay forum about this tape.

"I don't understand how a person can drown after hitting a light pole."

Here's our moron of the day.



Body Of Man Fleeing Police Found In Pond

FAIRFIELD, Ohio -- The body of man who crashed his pickup truck into trees and ran from police was recovered from a nearby pond, authorities said Thursday.
Jason Nudds, 30, of Fairfield, was driving erratically down a road Wednesday night and hit a tree, a light pole and then another tree, police said.
Nudds was being interviewed by police at the scene when he ran into a 1-acre pond near Wildwood Country Club and started to swim.
He yelled to police: "Come get me, I'm a Marine," said Fairfield police Lt. Ken Colburn.
Nudds went under the water three times, then did not resurface. A police officer and two paramedics went into the water but could not locate Nudds.
Divers spent nearly five hours Wednesday night searching the pond and resumed the search Thursday.
Lisa Schwarz, who said she was Nudds' girlfriend and that the two became engaged on Monday, said he was an ex-Marine who served in Iraq and was a father of three.
"It's a nightmare," Schwarz said. "I don't understand how a person can drown after hitting a light pole."
Nudds' sister, Stephanie Martin, was a passenger in the truck. She received minor injuries.
Fairfield is about 10 miles north of Cincinnati.

"He"'s Going to Feel This in the Morning

There are a lot of kinky people in Minnesota.

Ouch.

From Associate Editor, Cody.

The Seven Wonders of the Totalitarian World

Interesting little piece in Esquire about the Seven Wonders of the Totalitarian World.

It is done partly as an answer to the recent publication of the Seven New Wonders of the world, which certainly took into account at least some degree of endorsing the motives of the builders.

This list pulls no punches and has 'Wonders' created by folks who were up to no good.

I'm Just Barely Old Enough...

...to be able to say I lived through some of this change and can remember it.  

Kids who have known nothing but a cellphone world have to be shaking their heads at how telecom providers would be able to hold customers hostage to their devices and plans that are often tantamount to financial rape.

Oh wait a minute...

Remember What Happned to This Pooch Who Misbehaved?

This lady's dog is so mischevious it took $800 out of her purse and ate it!

Stifle it, Your Honor!

BARNSTABLE, Massachusetts (AP) -- A Cape Cod man who claimed he was homophobic, racist and a habitual liar to avoid jury duty earned an angry rebuke from a judge on Monday, who referred the case to prosecutors for possible charges.

American Gladiator

You've got to learn to relax your throat muscles, Joey!  Calm those gag reflexes.

Nontheless, Joey Chestnut beat the Japanese warrior yesterday and returned the Nathan's title to the Red, White and Blue.

The Jesus Discount

And so on the 8th day, the Lord said, "Let Indiana BMV not chargeth for vanity plates bearing my name, despite the constitutional issues that may ariseth.  Screweth the ACLU."

Well, Ralphie Boy, It's Like We Say Down in the Sewer...

This story out of the Twin Cities kind of caught my eye this morning.  Apparently there was some bad communication to workers around whether or not a biomed company had the rights to dispose of blood into the sewer system.

The one fella was pretty upset that, in the pursuit of his daily tasks working in the sewer, he had swallowed some of his bread and butter...which might have contained blood.

Now I'm all for worker protection and think (from my layman's perspective) that this merits an investigation.   But if it's SOP for workers in the department to get sprayed in the face and swallow things from the sewer, then pitching a fit now seems like suing the tobacco companies for the bad breath you get
from smoking.

My Sweet Lord

Predictably, the fair-and-balanced folks over at Fox are running with this story above stories about the dog food scare and a how-to video for wannabe pedophiles that is circulating.

Basically, this is the same song and dance we see all the time....attention-seeking artist comes out with something meant to offend only the most moronic of zealots (whether they be genderzealots, religiozealots, politicozealots....) and, like trained dolphins, they play the game.

Some yo-yo out in New York decided to put on a show this week with a milk chocolate replica of Christ on the cross. Predictably, Bill Donohue came out complaining as if old ladies were being beaten with the Holy Chalice on their way into morning Mass.

"This is one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever."

Bill Donohue, The Catholic League

Honestly, if your faith is so fragile that some half-cocked artist can shake your foundation by melting down some Hershey bars and molding them, then it might be time for a little bit of self-examination. And for a man whose church has had more than its share of scandals recently, Billy should remember that those in glass sanctuaries should not throw stones.